Real Life "Test"

ihave already mentionned some of those things, but it's time to get deeper

in febuary 2009, i got a laser session,
late march, got another one

and a week after i went on a trip , to japan, don't have to go this far but i like this country, and this country tends to like me too i believe, but anyway i think it's good to start elsewhere to test without much consequences, even in some next door city

until then i was in girl mode whenever i got out of my town, kinda hiding, but les and less, but outside, the laser allowed me to stay this way for an undetermined time , my biggest issue being my facial hair regrowth ... we say that laser (or electrolysis) makes the difference between a man and a woman, and i'm some kind of proof of it

so HOP! far from my place, i left in guy mode because driven to the station by my father , and at that time he didn't know where i was in my path, probably thinking that the psys would have cured me magically with the mighty powers of introspection , so i took the train to paris as nicolas to the charles de gaule airport in paris , i'm wearing my camouflage outfit, an old jean without much shape at all, a L size tshirt , and a little polar jacket, kinda pretty to me black with it's red neck calling back on my red shoes :p
that used to be my visual identity for over 10 years, as unisex as you can do, not really screaming "feminity" but go figure ....

in the airport i ate a bit in the pizza hut
"-hello, so i'd like two pieces of cheese pizza and an orange juice"
"-okay there you go madam "
"-..... :o er.. thank youuuu !"

after the passport check i passed my luggages in the xray machines, asking to the guy who makes people undress

"-so i take my shoes off too?"
"let's see..... no those are ok, but your jacket please .."
"mkay here you go ..."
"very well, thank you madam"
"-..... :o er.. thank youuuu !"

after my never ending 12 hours long flight i arrived at narita airport , finished showing my passport and giving my fingerprints , now aiming for the ladies toilets, for a quick change , with less neutral clothes, my falsies and a bit of foundation, and go!!

one thing i had not thought about was that then, in every hotel, being a foreigner, they would ask for my passport ....
the reaction of the managers were just ..... invisible , no more no less, except one, who took my passport, walked away to the copier and stopped on it's way , closely examined my passport for a loooong minute, with me standing behind, hesitating to say "yeah it's .... old picture ..."

then finally after a never ending while of doubt, he finally registers me, and everything is going well ...
just one detail tho, this evening , a friend called me , and she told me "hey the guy on the phone asked me if you were a man or a womann i said woman and he said ok and gave me the line !"

ah curious little sir :p

in another hotel i often went because really cheap, i obviously became like come kind of mascott , when i came to the reception the guy gave me big smiles saying stuff like "ah nicolas-san! from france right?"
"yyyyyyyes " i say " but is it so peculiar to see french here?"
he smiles and says "yes, quite"


well at this precise instant i was very well knowing that we were not talking about french people no , but more about "okama" , the japanese word for katooey ;)
but in the greatest respect, him having seen my passport, and me showing not only my killer smile but also a C-cup

one thing i was curious to try was my passing, in a country where 1.76m high women ( about 5.7ft) just don't really exist, i thought "if i pass there i'll pass anywhere"

and i passed

except two anecdotes tho such as a group of kids whispering "is that a transvestite?" or "look! look at his hands" etc
i remained stoic

another time in a not too crowded train, a couple a few meters away were wondering "is it an okama over there?" to far for me to hear well , but there seemed to be some doubt , and debate

looks quite negative, but all the other expreiences i had were amazingly positive, such as shopping streets merchants like that indian guy shouting with his indian accentent that i find quite funny and friengly "hey pretty girl, where are you going?"

hmm that's not a country where people speak much english, so i looked around and saw this guy bent over his counter , in the process of making a huge smile to... ME :p
i gave him the biggest smile of the world back and a little hello sign, wich he gave me back ;

aaaaah damn how i love life!

it happened again in japanese, then there has been real hitting-on too, or quite unexpected compliments such as in that farmer family , the father welcomed me saying "oh you have nice proportions!" then back to his wife "did you see that? french girls are something else eh"

yep, "something else"...hehe

so with all that stuff, all the people i've seen there compared to my 300 peoples village, and the almost total absence of any problem, i reached the point i feared , here we are , i just can not go back to "something else", i had spent weeks already in girl mode but there, after 2 laser sessions, my HRT on the way i'm able to hold the distance, and joy in my heart i say farewell to nicolas !
I shall see you in my papers for a while, but from now, i'm only nickie, and i can't play the guy anymore, did it way too much already !

i talked to my mother, who was kinda expecting it, scared to death tho "but how will it go here? in japan you're fine of course , in hollidays, with no worries"

but what other occasion would i have? one month absence in a foreign place, to hit the nail, it's just perfect , it's not like if i went oversea 10 times a year :p
nor even once a year , last time was 6 years ago!

what else would i do? go back home, act like the perfect boy then one weekend go "hop! tadaaaammm! got boobs nooow! "


she was scared for me, but also the probably figure she was losing her son, for real, the 3 years who took me there didn't prepare her to the idea of me being "nicole" 24/7

she understood for 3 years, but only today she realized

argh if only i could talk when i was 15 we wouldn't be in that whole crap! i hate myself for that.....


but for everything else damn it's good !! finally!!! :)